You Need a Girlfriend? Ten Questions to Ask Yourself First

When you feel lonely and think, I need a girlfriend, it may not be the solution to all your problems. Consider these things before jumping in.

I’ve seen this too many times to count. A guy gets bored, all his friends are in relationships, and he thinks that he should be in one, too. He gets this brilliant idea to find himself a girlfriend based on factors that shouldn’t have anything to do with whether or not they actually get one. Just because you think, I need a girlfriend, stop to consider why first.

Because when he finally lands himself an unlucky gal, he proceeds to treat her like crap because he didn’t actually think his actions through to the end. He thought having a girlfriend would be fun and entertaining, and while it can be, it’s also a lot of work. Something he didn’t consider.

The benefits of having a girlfriend

Obviously, there are many reasons why guys get girlfriends because, well, we’re awesome! Girlfriends are an automatic friend when you need to talk, someone to please you in the bedroom, and company you really enjoy having around.

Girlfriends also really like to do stuff for their boyfriends because girls in general are pretty giving creatures. We make you food, clean up your place, and even surprise you with gifts every now and then.

I need a girlfriend—things to consider first

When someone randomly thinks they need a girlfriend, it should be a red flag immediately. You can’t just randomly decide this and then go out and get yourself one. There are different factors you need to consider first.

If you’re thinking that you need a girlfriend – for whatever reason – you should think a few things through first. Here are all of the different things you should consider being going out and finding yourself a girlfriend.

#1 Do you only want one because of your friends? I know a few guys that are only in a relationship because all their friends are and they don’t want to be left out of the fun when they all go out on double dates.

This is just a terrible idea because you aren’t in it for the right reasons. You can’t just commit to a relationship based on the fact that most of your friends did, especially if you’re not all that into the girl. What happens when they break up with their girlfriends? Are you going to do the same? [Read: 12 real reasons why couples drift apart over time]

#2 Are you just bored? If you’re just bored with your life and don’t have enough entertainment going on, you don’t need a girlfriend. What you need, my friend, is a hobby. You need something to keep you busy and that’s not what a girlfriend is for.

If you’re just bored and looking to be entertained by a girlfriend, you’re only going to use her as entertainment. When the truth is, relationships are a lot more than just having fun together. There are also not fun times to be had with a girlfriend.

#3 Do you have the time for a girlfriend? Just because your friends have time for a girlfriend doesn’t mean you do. If you’re super busy with work and life, there’s no way you have the time to dedicate to a girlfriend.

This backfires substantially if you get a girlfriend and then never have time to see her. She’ll want to spend time together often and if you’re always busy or your time is committed to something else—like your many hobbies—she’ll be unhappy. [Read: Why does your girlfriend hate you? 10 questions to find out]

#4 Do you know how to treat one right? Some guys have no idea how to treat a girlfriend. Are you one of those guys who just thinks having a girlfriend is a walk in the park? Because it is anything but that.

Girlfriends require a lot of care and attention and most of all, respect. If you don’t know how to show all of these to a girl, you could be heading down a road that you may not be able to go back from. If you don’t know how to properly treat a girl, you don’t need a girlfriend. [Read: How to be a good boyfriend – 10 big traits that matter most]

#5 Are you willing to give up some freedom? Guys love their freedom. I mean, girls love it too, but guys tend to think of girlfriends as freedom-suckers. Sometimes we can be, simply because you need to give a little of your freedom in order to spend time with a girl.

If you’re not ready to give up all the freedom you have, you’re not ready for a girlfriend. If you’re not ready to let a girl know what you’re up to and where you’re going during the day, wait until you are.

#6 Could you handle having a girl around your friends? This is something not a lot of guys consider when they just decide they need a girlfriend, but it is definitely something you all need to consider. How do you feel about bringing a girl around your friends?

You can’t keep your girlfriend separate from your friends and think she’ll be okay with that. She’ll get curious as to why, and she’ll be unhappy when she starts to think you’re embarrassed of her. If you don’t think you can bring her around your friends, you don’t need a girlfriend. [Read: 20 foolproof ways to tell if you’re a serial womanizer]

#7 You do realize it’s more than just sex, right? Don’t think that getting a girlfriend means all the sex you want all the time. I know that sounds stereotypical of me to accuse all guys of just wanting sex, but it is a reality I’ve seen too many times to ignore.

If you just want a girlfriend for the fun times in the bedroom, you don’t need one. You have to put in a lot more effort than just getting her off in bed in order to make her happy. If you can’t handle this reality, just wait to get a girlfriend. [Read: 20 things you HAVE to do to keep your girlfriend happy]

#8 When was the last time you had a girlfriend? Think about when the last time you had a girlfriend was. If it was a really long time ago, ask yourself why. What has held you back from getting a girlfriend and is that thing still going on?

If you JUST had a girlfriend like a week ago and think getting a new one right away is the way to go, you’re wrong. Take some time to be single and know yourself before jumping into another relationship right away.

#9 Are you 100% over your ex? A lot of guys like to have rebound girlfriends just like girls have rebound boyfriends. It’s something we think can mend our hearts and get us over our exes. But the truth is, it can’t.

If you’re not 100% over your ex, you don’t need a girlfriend. Starting a relationship still in love with someone else only leads to trouble and conflict down the road. And believe me, you’re better off alone. [Read: How to forget about a girl – 15 ways to forget she even exists]

#10 Are you ready to share your life with someone? Ultimately, that is what a relationship is. Are you ready to have someone else intervene in nearly every aspect of your life? Are you really ready to make that kind of commitment?

Getting a girlfriend is a big commitment not to be taken lightly. Decide if you’re truly ready to share who you are with someone else. If you are, great! Go get her. If you’re not, just wait until you’re actually ready.

Having a girlfriend can be a really great, fun, exciting thing, but only if you’re ready. In order to determine if you need a girlfriend, you should consider all of these things first.